Why God definitely does NOT exist...

...at least not the God of the Bible.

OK, I'm going to bring up two things.

1.) Can God make a burrito so hot that even he cannot eat it? If he can't make it, he's not omnipotent. If he can make it, he's not omnipotent because he's incapable of eating it. And no, the fact that this is a blatant contradiction of elementary logic does not prove that God exists, it proves you don't know anything about elementary logic.

2.) According to Christians, we have free will to make all of our choices. Also according to Christians, God knows everything that ever was, is, or will be, because he is omniscient.

Now, let's say Lil' Jimmy is going to a big dance recital, and needs to wear proper attire. He needs to pick a tie to wear--either the green tie or the red tie, because he's a stupid little shit and only owns two ties. God knows EVERYTHING, so he knows that Jimmy is going to pick the red tie, and has known that since before the universe was created because he knows fucking everything. The recital is coming up, so Jimmy needs to make his choice. He's sitting there, comparing the two ties in every detail... and, predictably, chooses the red tie.

Now let's take a look at this scenario. Did Jimmy actually make the choice? From his perspective, and from the perspective of anyone without magical psychic God-powers, he certainly did--he had two options and chose one.

But let's think here. God knew that Jimmy was going to pick the red tie before Jimmy picked it. He knew this with 100% certainty because he's God and he knows this shit, right? So here's the question: could Jimmy have picked the green tie?

Of course, unless you're an idiot, the answer is NO, because if Jimmy picked the green tie, then God would be wrong, and if God was wrong, he wouldn't be omniscient, and if he isn't omniscient, he's not God.

And so you see, free will and God cannot coexist. So please pick your poison. Either there is a divine plan and you aren't responsible for anything you do, and thus I could guiltlessly rape and murder hundreds of babies, or there is a non-omniscient, non-Christian God, or, finally, there is no God.

These are the only three possibilities. Either EVERYTHING is predestined due to God's foreknowledge, or God's an impotent little bitch and/or nonexistent.